Single Moms – Mapping Their Son’s Masculine Journey

Cross-Posted From:

HERE I RAISE MY EBENEZER

THE MASCULINE HEART

On a recent vacation, while driving round trip from Southwest Washington to Northwest Wyoming, I finally managed to finish a book a friend had loaned me this past winter. It was The Way of the Wild Heart, by John Eldredge. It’s a follow-up to another of Eldredge’s best-sellers, Wild at Heart.

The subtitle of Wild at Heart is: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul. Its back cover expands on that by saying: “In Wild at Heart, John Eldredge invites men to recover their masculine heart, defined in the image of a passionate God.” In the book, Eldredge lays out three main longings of every male on their journey in life. Each man longs for: A battle to fight, An adventure to live and A beauty to rescue. In The Way of the Wild Heart, Eldredge expands on this theme by noting six major phases of a man’s life: Beloved Son, Cowboy (or Ranger), Warrior, Lover, King and Sage. This book’s main point is that God wants to come and father us through each of these stages. The key underlying theme, though, is the vital role earthly fathers and male mentors are meant to play in accomplishing this.

SHOWING THE WAY Continue reading →

President Obama: To Employ More Veterans, Get Big Government Out of Their Way!

 

In a speech Friday, at the Washington Navy Yard, President Obama overviewed his administration’s new initiative meant to help those serving in the military find employment following their service. The program announced was in response to a report regarding the unemployment rate for Iraq and Afghanistan-era veterans. Although the unemployment rate for all veterans stands at 8.6 % (lower than the nation’s overall unemployment rate of 9.1 %), the current unemployment rate for Iraq and Afghanistan-era veterans is 12.4 %. That is an increase over the 11.8 % rate reported for this group a year ago.

As could be expected, with the Navy Yard as a backdrop and surrounded by military personnel, a speech on this topic was well received. Regardless of the setting and the audience, I see this as a topic deserving of positive interest from us all. When our heroes, who offer themselves for military service on our behalf, return from that service to civilian life, I want to see them welcomed on a level playing field and given a head start I believe they’ve earned. Obviously, based on the unemployment rates being reported, our Iraq and Afghanistan-era heroes are experiencing a welcome that is opposite of what I’d like for them to be getting.

President Obama’s plan here consists of two key elements: (1) He is asking Congress to legislate new tax breaks intended to encourage employers to give a hiring edge to veterans. (2) He has ordered the Defense and Veterans Affairs departments to form a new task force, to develop a plan aimed at helping veterans secure post-service employment.

Although I commend the President for having his heart in the right place on this, I don’t think his is the right solution. It’s amazing to me that, even in the face of the abundantly obvious abject failure we’re experiencing with his dogma, President Obama remains an undying big government ideologue. Much as was the case with this approach during the Carter administration, Obama and his fellow-zealots have formulated a scheme for tinkering with the symptoms of this matter rather than diagnosing its cause and prescribing corrective treatment.

In considering this problem and its likely source, I couldn’t help but notice its similarities to another dilemma I wrote about not long ago, in an article entitled Meeting the Challenge of Senior Underemployment – One of Our Greatest Socioeconomic Opportunities. This writing addresses the difficulty being faced by another group of veterans … Seniors who are veterans of business.

When I wrote that article, the U.S. unemployment rate was 9.3%. At that time, the unemployment rate for Seniors (people aged 55 and over) was 6.7%. Initially, that made it sound like older workers were doing better than the general population. However, since the recession began in December of 2007, the unemployment rate for Seniors had increased by a factor of 2.09, while unemployment in the general population increased by a factor of 1.86. Furthermore, the average duration of unemployment for Seniors was 53.6 weeks (more than one year) versus 39.4 weeks for the younger unemployed.

In addition to the similarities between these two groups of veterans, with unemployment, they share corresponding experiences with underemployment. I believe related accounts of this tell us as much as, if not more than, unemployment tells us about the underlying cause of the overall problem here and its likely source.

The following are a few anecdotes, to exemplify this predicament for our Iraq and Afghanistan-era military veterans:

“After almost two years in New York looking for work in law enforcement, Iraq veteran Christopher Kurz just moved back in with his parents in Arizona. His military police work in Iraq and aboard a nuclear aircraft carrier didn't seem to translate into a job.”

“Staff Sgt. Meghan Meade, 27, of East Moriches, N.Y., said her lack of a bachelor's degree also seems to have kept her from getting a full-time job, even doing administrative work. A member of the New York Air National Guard, she said she's spent five years on active duty and did a tour in Iraq. She has an associate's degree, but she's reluctant to go back to school because she's not sure exactly what to study. She's waiting tables and doing temporary clerical work.”

“Hugh Conlon, from Augusta, Georgia, who served in the Army for 20 years as a Sergeant First Class. He served three combat tours as a medic, most recently as a Senior Medical non-commissioned officer for an Iraqi National Police Brigade in Iraq. Despite his extensive experience as a medic in combat zones, Hugh was unable to find a job in the medical field when he left the Army. He was turned down for positions ranging from driving an ambulance to admitting patients to the hospital.”

Although this group of veterans may not hear these things directly from prospective employers, typical reasons that come back to them about why they’ve been passed over include: The prospective employers’ failure to connect the responsibilities of their military duty to civilian job requirements, concerns that veterans might have mental health issues and with Guard and Reserve troops, worry that they will deploy again.

To illustrate the corresponding quandary with the other group, Seniors who are veterans of business, here are a few stories out of the many like this that I’m personally aquainted with:

“A President and CEO of a telecom company. For nearly two years he was “between jobs” but got one six-month consulting gig. Now he is employed as a Senior Operations Manger with a nonprofit.”

“A VP of Worldwide Sales for a software developer. The five years since she left that position have held a VP-level job with a marketing research firm, a VP-level job with a nonprofit, a couple of advisory/consulting gigs and significant periods ‘between jobs’.”

“A CFO-level person who had been working abroad. He moved back home to be with an ailing parent who has, since, passed away. During over three years ‘back home’, he managed to get only two months of consulting work. He has returned to a financial role, working abroad, for a U.S. Government agency.”

“A President of an apparel manufacturer. After two years of unemployment he accepted a position as VP of Operations for a heavy equipment dealer. That job lasted 1 ½ years. He has returned to consulting, as he looks for his next opportunity.”

Here, again, this group doesn’t necessarily get direct feedback from prospective employers about why they have been passed over but the rationale seems to include: The hiring company viewing the candidates age as a negative rather than valuing the experience that comes with the age, concerns that these veterans may lack energy/enthusiasm and apprehension that they may just be looking for a place to ‘coast’ to their imminent retirement.”

So, what does all this indicate? Does it mean that I think Seniors should be getting the same sort of government supported jobs program that the President is proposing for our Iraq and Afghanistan-era military veterans? Well, as temptingly self-serving as it would be for me to say “Yes”, I have to say “No”. Does it mean that I’m opposed to seeing our Iraq and Afghanistan-era military veterans get the help the President is proposing? No. I agree with Hugh Conlon when he says, “That’s no way for America to support the troops”, regarding the unemployment/underemployment experience we’re presently giving Vets like him. Do I think that what the President is proposing is more of a band-aid than corrective surgery? Yes!

If you just listen to what both sets of veterans are being told about why they’re being passed over for employment, you hear evidence of the need for a paradigm shift, not tinkering. Whether it’s failure to connect the responsibilities of their military duty to civilian job requirements, concerns that veterans might have mental health issues and worry that they will deploy again (for military veterans) or it’s viewing the candidates age as a negative rather than valuing the experience that comes with the age, concerns that these folks may lack energy/enthusiasm and apprehension that they may just be looking for a place to ‘coast’ to their imminent retirement (for business veterans); these are the results of businesses looking for reasons not to hire. This is what you find when the business environment has been stifled by ever-increasing regulation and taxation accompanied by government spending exceeding the wildest imaginations. On the other hand, when these factors are reversed, business thrives and you find employers looking for reasons to hire people - i.e. They look for ways to match up the skills a military veteran gains from their service or the experience a business veteran aquires from their career with fitting jobs that need doing in a booming economy. This is the paradigm shift that is called for.

In closing, I want to emphasize that accomplishing this paradigm shift for the two groups of veterans I’ve mentioned here is critical to the socioeconomic future of our nation. To a great degree, today’s Seniors are made up of Baby Boomers. This generation was lavished, more than any other, with education. Moreover, they were raised by the GI Generation, who instilled them with a great work ethic. That meant, not only did they get a great education, they actually went out and tried to accomplish everything they could with that resource and in the process, grew the resource by honing it with experience to create what I call “A Great Wealth of Wisdom.” Sadly, this invaluable resource is going to die with the Baby Boom generation, if we don’t put them to work, ideally in mentoring roles with the best of our younger generations. What better candidates for this latter group than our Iraq and Afghanistan-era heroes? By combining and unleashing these immediately available resources, we can reinvent the socioeconomic environment of a true Super Power. But, this won’t result from tinkering. It will require systemic corrective action.

Comments
 
Very good, well reasoned


Submitted by Big Mike (not verified) on Sun, 2011-08-07 11:19.

-1

+-Very good, well reasoned article, Gary. Thanks!

Your Comment


Submitted by Gary Wiram on Mon, 2011-08-08 07:59.

-1

+-Thanks, Big Mike!

Via Facebook


Submitted by Gary Wiram on Sun, 2011-08-07 12:54.

-1

+-Larry J. Smith Good thing. We owe them jobs for their contributions and dedication.

Your Comment


Submitted by Gary Wiram on Mon, 2011-08-08 08:02.

-1

+-I fully agree, Larry.

New Year’s Resolutions for the Aspiring Sales Person

Part One

Christmas 2008 is less than a week away and soon we’ll be celebrating the New Year, 2009. Of course, its a tradition with many to make “New Year’s Resolutions”. And, with nearly as many, its somewhat of a tradition to break their “New Year’s Resolutions”not long after they’re made. In either case, this may not seem like much of a topic for a sales oriented business blog. For me, though, it seems like a good opportunity to be a bit more pragmatic and less philosophical than I usually am, as I strive to “share my rich experience, to produce Top Sales Performers and Top Performing Sales Organizations.” Specifically, it seems a good way to share lessons I’ve learned on how I could’ve done things differently and better in developing my career, as a Sales Professional.


I didn’t grow up dreaming of being a Sales Professional. I don’t think many do. My becoming a Sales Professional, in fact, was pretty serendipitous. Much like Harriet Beecher Stowe’s character Topsy, to a great degree and especially early on, “I just growed.” In other words, I wasn’t very “intentional” and this is the first area I think of when I consider that “I could’ve done things differently and better”. So, the first New Year’s Resolution I recommend for an aspiring Sales Person is …

BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT IT!

In order to provide a better understanding of the steps I’m going to encourage, in being “intentional”, I think it will help to give a few details on the early days of my career and related shortcomings, as I see them:

Regardless of the point in time I pick to start telling you about my development, its important to acknowledge that my circumstances are unique. That’s true of us all. One of my best friends is a top Subject Matter Expert in Cross-Cultural Communication and he says there are over 6 billion cultures on the face of the planet – i.e., one culture per person. And, he says that a key element to what makes each of us different is what are called Cultural Formers. There are many types of Cultural Formers. Some can be as obvious as ethnicity and some may be more subtle, like being left-handed. And, with the role that Cultural Formers play in making each of us unique, some are more noteworthy than others. I can easily identify that my most important Cultural Former was being raised without a Father, from the age of three. For some reason, it seemed that no one ever really stepped into that void where I needed a role model and Mentor. I don’t point this out so readers will say, “Oh, poor Gary!” My purpose in drawing attention to this is my recognition that having a Mentor could have made a dramatic difference in my career development. With that said, then, the first step I recommend, in being more “intentional” is …

HAVE A MENTOR!

If, unlike me, you have a Mentor, great! If not, go get one! Whether you’re a Student, considering a career in Sales or you’re a fledgling Sales Person, having a Mentor can be invaluable. In seeking out a Mentor, look closest to you first … family, church, school, work. After that, check out local business groups and service organizations e.g., Rotary, Toastmasters, Chamber of Commerce, etc. In the process of connecting with prospective Mentors, you’ll expand your network of contacts and you’ll be exposed to learning opportunities that will help you contribute to your career, your community and to your life, in general.

The idea, with a Mentor, is not to find someone who will run your life for you. Mentors should serve as Counselors. So, the best Mentor won’t necessarily be someone who comes off as being “superior”. In fact, the best attribute to look for, in a Mentor, is someone who seems to have “a servant’s heart” – i.e., a person who is looking to share their experience in ways that benefit others. Once you’ve found the right Mentor for you, you’ll want to get their counsel on everything from completing your formal education to getting your first job to your relationships with colleagues to getting promotions and so on.

In Part Two of “New Year’s Resolutions for the Aspiring Sales Person”, I want to tackle a couple more areas where, looking back, I recognize that I could’ve done things differently and better in developing my career, as a Sales Professional. Areas where a Mentor could’ve fit in, to make a significant and positive difference. But I think this posting provides enough to consider for now.

If you’re an experienced Sales Professional, what would you like to go back and change for the better, in developing your career? If you are an Aspiring Sales Person, what else would you like to hear about in this regard, that you’re thinking and feeling would be helpful to you? Please let us know your thoughts along these lines.

Comments
 
Sean Harry Says:


December 24, 2008 at 4:55 am edit

Good post Gary. Isn’t it also true that we can have different mentors for different parts of our lives? Even for different parts of our professional lives? For instance, as a sales person I may want a mentor who will coach me in the sales process, helping me to focus on and improve in the areas where I have the most potential for growth. AND, as a sales person, I may also want to find a mentor at my Toastmasters group who can help guide me through the manuals.

Part Two

Have you thought about participating in Sales 2.0? It would be another place where you could post your blog so you could “share my rich experience, to produce Top Sales Performers and Top Performing Sales Organizations.” Check them out at: http://www.salesmanagement20.com/. I think some of the folks over there would be interested in hearing what you have to say and learning from your MANY years of experience.

In Part One of New Year's Resolutions for the Aspiring Sales Person, I began an overview aimed to be "... a good way to share lessons I’ve learned on how I could’ve done things differently and better in developing my career, as a Sales Professional." The steps I'm encouraging in doing this fall under the general recommendation to "BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT IT!" And, my first specific suggestion under that heading was to "HAVE A MENTOR!" As I proceed to address specific aspects of my career development, I think it's obvious where being more "intentional" and having a "Mentor" could’ve fit in, to make a significant and positive difference. With that said, let me proceed with the next area I'd like to discuss:


Have A Proper Formal Education, As A Foundation!

Here, again, it may be helpful to share information about my beginnings and the flaws I now see, looking back. Here's how things went:

I was a National Honor Society High School Graduate, with five Majors - English, French, Math, Science and Social Science - and no Minors. Although I recall being advised to go on to college and to have a Major selected by the time I got to college, I don't recall getting any counsel on applying for scholarships or what to consider in selecting a Major. Thankfully, there was a State University in my hometown, so I could live at home and there were enough jobs around to be able to earn the money needed for books and tuition. Since the local State University had evolved from a State Teacher's College, I decided to Major in Education. I spent 4 1/2 years in college, trying one Education discipline after another. During that time, I dropped out and returned twice. In my third attempt at a Junior year, I finally got to do some lesson plans and got to try them out in the University's Lab School. Guess what?! I found out that I didn't like being a School Teacher. So, I dropped out for the final time and went out to get a job. I'm grateful for the successful Sales career that led to. However, though most recognize my experience as equivalent to a Bachelor's Degree and an MBA in Sales, even these decades later, not having completed my formal education still comes up.

With the benefit of hindsight, here's how I would do things differently:

I'd look at alternatives for financing my college education. A National Honor Society High School Graduate should be able to qualify for some form of scholarship or, at least, favorable terms for a student loan.

Finding sources for counsel on selecting my major courses of study, obviously, would've been helpful. Just as obviously, they didn't find me in those days.

It would've been good to look beyond my local horizons too. I've been blessed to work and travel in most of the Northern Hemisphere but getting some of this exposure earlier would've been beneficial.

Though a scholarship or a student loan would have provided me with more latitude, I still would have worked while going to school but I'd have done it more selectively. Specifically, I would've tried to find work associated with my field of study. As an example of one benefit in doing this, if I'd taken a job as a Custodian in a public school instead of as an hourly laborer in a warehouse, I might have, at least, recognized a bit earlier that I wasn't cut out to spend my working life in a public school. On the other hand, if it turned out that I was well suited for work in that field, perhaps it would have led to a job more in line with my ultimate career path, resulting in better preparedness and a bolstered resume.

Taking steps 1 through 4 would have made it more likely for me to not drop out of college. Since I did end up dropping out though, it would have been better if, during the first decade or two, I had completed my Bachelor's while continuing my career.

In Part Three of “New Year’s Resolutions for the Aspiring Sales Person”, I want to tackle one more specific area where, looking back, I recognize that I could’ve done things differently and better in developing my career, as a Sales Professional. Then, with that added to the other steps I've addressed, I'll conclude with a general discussion of more productively leveraging those foundational changes throughout my career. For now, I think that's enough from me. But what about you? If you’re an experienced Sales Professional, what would you like to go back and change for the better, in developing your career? If you are an Aspiring Sales Person, what else would you like to hear about in this regard, that you’re thinking and feeling would be helpful to you? Please let us know your thoughts along these lines. Then, check back for Part Three, as I wrap up this "more pragmatic and less philosophical" discussion, meant to “share my rich experience, to produce Top Sales Performers and Top Performing Sales Organizations.”

Part Three
 

 
This is the final chapter in my three-part overview, aimed at being “… a good way to share lessons I’ve learned on how I could’ve done things differently and better in developing my career, as a Sales Professional.” In Part One, I discussed the general recommendation, to “BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT IT!” From there, I went on to make the specific suggestion to “HAVE A MENTOR!” In Part Two, I offered a more detailed proposal to "Have A Proper Formal Education, As A Foundation!"


Of course, its difficult to be complete on the sort of topic this three-part series is meant to address. Probably with anyone who's in a position to look back over the decades of a a career, there are many changes you'd make, if you could go back to do so. And, changes in one area can easily lead to changes in other areas. However, in keeping with the theme I've set, to deal with just a few foundational issues, I'll conclude with just one more:

Have A Structured Continuing Development Plan!

In a way, this is an extension of my topic in Part Two, "Have A Proper Formal Education, As A Foundation!" And, once again, it may be helpful to examine my beginnings in this regard:

My first Sales job was with a company offering document management systems. I was hired by a VP, whose background was in Engineering and I reported to a Branch Manager, whose background was in Finance ... neither of them were Sales Professionals. I guess the fact that I was able to land the job in the first place is an indication that I was gifted with some Sales instincts. However, just a few months into that job, the Branch Manager was replaced by a guy with a successful Sales background. In working with the new guy, several startling realities became very clear in fairly short order. These were: (1) I was accomplishing as much as could be expected, with my gifted skills. (2) I wasn't meeting Quota. (3) I had no clue what to do about it. At that point, my new boss made a decision that was truly a watershed event for my working life. If he had decided differently, its likely that I'd be writing this blog on something other than Sales. But his decision was to send me off to a Fortune 500 company's Training Center, to take their course in Professional Selling Skills.

I'm thankful for my old boss' decision to enroll me in that "PSS 101" course. Likewise, I'm thankful that, since then, I've been blessed with Sales education including Miller Heiman, Zig Ziglar, Strategic Selling, Selling to VITO, etc. as well as Fortune 500 employer's internal selling curricula. Along with this, I've gained from learning provided by employers and professional associations in Leadership, Management, Relationships, etc. Just recently, though, a prospective Client asked me a question that reminded me of an ongoing flaw I have in this area. The question was, simply, "What business book have you read recently?" I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I was stumped, momentarily. After stopping to consider this for a moment, I realized that the business book I was currently reading was just under the notepad I was using. Its entitled, "Biz Blog Marketing". Then, I turned to look at the bookshelves in my home-office and saw the two books I'd recently finished, "How Did You Do It Truett?" (The story of the Founder of Chick-Fil-A) and "Becoming A Coaching Leader". And, as I looked back to my PC monitor, I thought of the significant volume of reading I do daily, on-line, just to keep up with my business and to support the three blogs I write. So, why the embarrassment and where is the flaw? Its in the very same place that I mentioned in Part One of this series ... "My becoming a Sales Professional, in fact, was pretty serendipitous. Much like Harriet Beecher Stowe’s character Topsy, to a great degree and especially early on, “I just growed.” In other words, I wasn’t very “intentional” . And, with this, there's still room for improvement. With this in mind, I want to make these concluding recommendations:

Lay out your own plan for the business-related courses you want to take over the next several years. Perhaps an employer or a professional association will provide these for you but you should have your own plan for a curriculum that you think will best serve your interests and attaining your goals. When its time to take the next course on your list, see to it that you complete it, regardless of who will provide it.

Keep a record of the courses you've completed. In most cases, you'll get some sort of certificate. Its easy enough to keep these in a 3 ring binder. Don't let yourself fall into the trap I've fallen into where I'm looking at my resume and saying, "Oh, yeah. I remember, going to San Francisco, when I worked for Minolta, to take that AMA course in "Dealing With Challenging Personalities".

Have a formal reading plan for each year- i.e. Specific titles you will read, with specific completion dates assigned to each title. Back in the days prior to laptop PCs, when I used to do a lot of air travel, I relied on that "downtime" to keep my reading caught up. Those circumstances changed. So, I recommend laying out a plan that you will carry out regardless of changing circumstances.

Keep a record of the reading you've done too. Its not practical for me to note every article I read on-line but, if I had prepared the sort of reading plan detailed above, it would be fairly simple to use it to note the actual completion dates. At the end of the year, that completed plan could be stashed away in the same 3 ring binder used to store the certificates from the business courses I'd completed.

So, that pretty much wraps up this year-end exercise in somewhat baring by business soul. But, as always, you're welcome to add to it. If, like me, you're an "old hand", please add your experience and your views by leaving a Comment. And, especially if you're in the early stages of a Sales career, I'd welcome hearing from you. As I say on the "About Gary Wiram" page of this blog: "My hope is that this blog will be beneficial to other Sales and Sales Management Professionals." That is my central purpose - i.e., I don't get paid for this. So, I hope you'll know that I'm most sincere, with that page going on to say, "I welcome hearing from you, via your Comments. If you'd like to hear more from me, contact me today, via this blog's Email link!"

Comments
 
Sales Training & Management Says:


July 26, 2010 at 12:01 pm edit

Here’s another sales-related tip to further your success:



Experience is a wonderful teacher, but only if you pay attention and draw the right lessons from your experience. It pays to document certain portions of your company’s sales process—and the most successful practices that you and your fellow salespeople have found for handling common challenges. Salespeople who do this maximize the use of their time, shorten sell cycles, make more sales, and cash bigger paychecks.



To learn from what works, document what works.



What parts of your sales process should you document?



First, identify the milestones in your sales cycle. What are the necessary steps that lead from your initial contact with a prospect to a completed sale? What commitment must you gain from the customer at each milestone that will lead to the next step? For example, does your sales cycle usually require an initial meeting with several decision makers followed by another meeting at which you present a formal proposal? Both of those meetings are milestones.



Write down your 10 strongest sales features—the features of your products or services that have the strongest appeal to most customers. Include a benefits statement for each feature. Remember that benefits usually have dollar signs attached.



Next, write down the expected customer needs associated with those 10 features and benefits. Customers will only buy if a benefit represents a solution to a perceived need. So what needs must you look for? Write some open-ended questions that help you draw out needs for which your 10 strongest features offer solutions.



Write the best questions that you can use to determine what your sales strategy must be for a particular client. Your sales strategy is determined by the competition you face, the buyer’s time frame, and the buying influences that will play a role in the sale. What are the best questions with which to draw out information about those factors?



Document a crisp (30-second) and powerful company story that you can tell in all first-call selling situations.



Ask your peers about each of these topics, and compare their approaches with yours. If somebody else has a great question for drawing out needs, for example, by all means write it down and use it. Create reminder lists for yourself, and review them before every sales call. Then you can stop making the same expensive mistakes.



To Your Success

Verkooptraining & Commerciele training Says:


October 20, 2010 at 3:22 pm edit

Training and courses can help you to get the skills you could not get just with experience. It will provide you the tools to do your job properly and improving you self confidence.