Married Guys & Christmas Gifts

As I write this, we're just a week away from Christmas Day, 2008. Personally, I'm facing one of life's greatest challenges for Married Guys ... what to get the Wife?! As I've pondered this dilemma, a couple of good general hints have come my way, through the media. One is a pretty good clue about what not to do, while I think the other one offers some excellent guidance on the right approach.

Perhaps, not so surprisingly, the "what-not-to-do" tip came to me via a forwarded email from my Wife. It had a link to a video entitled "Beware of the Doghouse". My sense is that most women find this to be more humorous than do most men. Basically, it portrays men making some bone-headed Christmas gift selections and ending up in an elaborately devised doghouse. In addition to vividly illustrating the sort of gift-giving that condemns a man to a stint in the "Doghouse", it provides the further revelation that, once you're in the "Doghouse", its awfully difficult to get out.

Although I do recommend that guys, especially Husbands, pay close attention to the "what-not-to-dos", I prefer to emphasize the "what-to-dos". Coincidentally, I picked up on a great example for this through the media this week too. Though it may not seem like the most likely place to seek direction on a topic like this, the source was Conservative Talk Radio Host, Hugh Hewitt. Anyone who listens to Hewitt, for any time at all, will be able to tell you that he consistently refers to his Wife, of over 25 years, as "The Fetching Mrs. Hewitt". While there may be many things you can read into this, as a "device", from the first time I heard it, I admired it as something sweet and precious that Mr. Hewitt faithfully honors in his relationship with his Wife.

Earlier this week, Hugh was broadcasting from Washington D.C. He was there, among other reasons, to attend a Christmas party at the White House. Of course, he commented on a number of things related to this trip but it struck me that, as much as anything, he mentioned that "The Fetching Mrs. Hewitt" was traveling with him and of how much they were enjoying revisiting experiences that were special to them when their relationship was young. It was hearing these reminiscences that reminded me of the most important "what-to-do" for Married Guys, with Christmas Gifts. That is, regardless of the gift/s you select for your Wife, bear in mind that they should reflect your appreciation for the fact that, short of His gift of His Son, God's greatest gift to you is her.

Oh, one more thing. The most important three words of wisdom from my Wife, Ruth, as she dispatches me for this year's Christmas shopping ... "Save the receipts!"

Against Such There Is No Law

By now, it should come as no surprise to you that Figgins and I tend to focus on the more upbeat aspects of life. And, you've probably noticed that's particularly true around Christmas. It seems that's become more challenging in recent years, with folks battling over Christmas being celebrated in the workplace or in the public square or questioning the political correctness of wishing someone what's in your heart ... "Merry Christmas!" However, I think there's a better approach than some take, who claim there is "A War on Christmas".

Don't get me wrong. I'm a man of faith. I accept the first four Words of the Bible ... "In the beginning, God" ... so, from there, the Truth of the Scriptures fall into place pretty easily for me. I, clearly, see the point of those who say there's "A War Against Christmas". I just think there's a better and more Scriptural, approach than starting a shouting match with those who see things differently than I do.

Figgins and I saw a great example of this alternative approach, during the past week, right here in our town. We thought it was an especially fitting example because it took place at a public school. This particular school is one set aside to serve a selected population of K-5 students with serious emotional and behavioral problems. It seems that a local church has made it a practice to provide Christmas presents for the students at this school ... every student at the school ... and, typically, there are multiple gifts for each student. Moreover, the gifts are not just "a little something that was picked up from the mark-down table at the Dollar Store". These are quality items, such as winter coats and shoes, to fill needs that the church learned about through the student's teachers. Just this is remarkably wonderful but what we found to be most remarkable was that no one seems to know the name of the church involved. But then you must consider, maybe recognition isn't their goal. The goals The Scriptures direct Christians to seek include love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. Clearly, the church involved here is following that direction.

So, where does this fit in with "A War on Christmas"? You've got a bunch of Christians doing "Christmas stuff" at a public school, for Heaven's sake! Why no battling, shouting matches, etc. to prevent this? I think the answer is obvious. Actually, its one of those instances where you answer a question with another question ... one of common sense ... Who would want to prevent something this wonderful from happening?! In fact, the very Scripture that tells the Christian about love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance; also answers this question. It tells us, "Against such there is no law."

So, with that said, Figgie, Ruth (Figgie's "Mom") and I are encouraged that we can get away with saying to you all ...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Its Beginning to Sound a lot like Christmas

When Figgins and I go walking, we typically stick to the sidewalks in our part of town or the paths along the hidden brook in the wooded area that runs through our neighborhood. This time of the year, however, we like to venture out near the more commercial areas, to enjoy the sights and sounds of Christmas. It seems that each time we go out, Christmas excitement is mounting and there's more to see and to hear. In the midst of all this, we like to seek out one of the things that we think typifies Christmas ... a sound you find in front of almost every large store ... the consistent ring, ring, ring of a hand-bell, held by a Salvation Army Volunteer, standing next to that familiar Red Kettle.

Although the sight of the Salvation Army Bell Ringer is familiar to most of us, at Christmas, many miss out on what a powerful blessing this scene represents. TV spots, featuring a Bell Ringer inserted in scenes of natural disasters and other scenes of human need, have provided some great visibility to what is accomplished through the simple but dedicated work of the Bell Ringers. Its truly amazing, when you check the Salvation Army Website and see all the needs that are served in this way ... Adult Rehabilitation, Family, Armed Forces, Disaster Relief, Human Trafficking and much more. And if what the Salvation Army does is amazing, their effectiveness in doing it is even more amazing ... 83 cents of every dollar placed in those little Red Kettles reaches the needy individuals served by the Salvation Army's programs.

In discussing this with Figgie, I emphasize that the Salvation Army's "sound of Christmas" is really a continuation of the very first Christmas message. If you're familiar with the Christmas story, you know that the announcement of the birth of Christ was made by an Angel to a group of "shepherds abiding in the field" (Luke 2:9-20). The first words of this greatest of announcements was "Fear not!" There is more packed into those two words than I can begin to define. But, those words have been a source of hope for billions over the past two-thousand-plus years. Especially in the midst of today's uncertainties, Figgie and I are comforted and encouraged through hearing that ongoing message, embedded in the ring, ring, ring of the bell in the hand of a present-day Christian Soldier, in the Salvation Army .

Light Coming Into The World

Celebrating light coming into the world is a central theme of Christmas. And yet, so much of what we hear on the news and end up focusing on with others, is very dark. There's that girl who went missing in Aruba 2 1/2 years ago. Then there's that cop who is suspected of killing his last two wives. Yesterday it was the mall shooting in Omaha. In the Pacific Northwest, we're just coming away from a storm that devastated many coastal areas. But today, the skies are brightening so Figgins and I determined to turn our attention to more uplifting events.


I started by asking Figgins if he was familiar with one of my favorite projects, that gets more exposure this time of the year ... Angel Tree, a part of Prison Fellowship Ministries (PFM). Although Figgins does not have a criminal record, I know he has spent some time behind bars so I was a bit surprised that he knew nothing of Angel Tree. However, I've come to recognize that, for the most part, even those who are aware of Angel Tree, have a fairly shallow understanding of the program so I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised. Anyway, you could tell, just by the look on his face, that Figgins was anxious to know more about Angel Tree and I suspected that a discussion along these lines could be just the right thing to lift our spirits today so I determined to share my views on the topic.


Most folks, who have some awareness of Angel Tree, would probably describe it this way: (1) Some sponsoring (typically, faith-based) organization puts up a Christmas Tree decorated with angel silhouettes, (2) Each silhouette displays the name of a needy child, along with an item the child needs, (3) Someone in the sponsoring organization purchases the needed item & the needy child gets it, as a Christmas gift. When you think about it, just that is uplifting, especially in contrast to many events going on around us. However, there are many more dimensions to Angel Tree. In order to begin to grasp this, its important to know that the needy children involved are the children of imprisoned parents. Beyond that, you need to understand the key reason the parents are imprisoned.


Of course, prisoners end up being imprisoned for many reasons. That is, if you consider the illegal acts they've committed to be the reasons for their imprisonment. At the bottom of it all, though, there is one common reason ... self-centeredness. This can be applied in numerous ways but, in this context ... an imprisoned parent and a needy child ... its pretty plain. You have an adult who was only thinking of themselves and a child who wasn't being thought of at all. Enter PFM with the dimensions of Angel Tree.


Earlier I mentioned angel silhouettes that display the name of a needy child and an item they need. These don't just come from some list generated by the Department of Corrections. It begins with a first step that is a not-so-obvious dimension ... the imprisoned parent takes the initiative to contact PFM, letting them know about their child and what the child needs. The next dimensions are the more obvious ones I mentioned earlier ... a charitable individual purchases the needed item and the needy child gets it, as a Christmas present. But there are some great dimensions beyond that. The needy child doesn't get the needed item as a Christmas gift from the charitable person, they get it as a Christmas gift from their imprisoned parent.


With that, I said to Figgins, "Isn't that neat?! This isn't just a matter of Christmas gifts finding their way into the hands of needy children. Its countless, unhealthy dimensions of our society being made well. Look at all the dimensions of needs that this fills!

• The imprisoned parent gets to start forming the habit of being other-centered, instead of being self-centered.
• The charitable person gets to serve and to continue developing their servant's heart.
• The child's need gets filled ... especially, their need to be loved ... most importantly, their need to be loved by their parent.

You see, Figgins, that is why I find PFM's Angel Tree to be so uplifting. Its a great example of why we celebrate Christmas. Its central theme is light coming into the world and you know, all you really have to do to get rid of the darkness is to turn on the light."

You could tell that our discussion warmed Figgins' heart. I suspect it was that, along with the expenditure of energy, from our earlier walk, that had him fully relaxed. Without further discussion, he curled up on the over-sized recliner, behind me in my office and drifted off to sleep. No doubt, as he drifted off, he was relishing our most recent rewarding discussion and looking forward to the next. Me too.